Funny Voicemails

I'm not here right now, so when you hear the beep, please hang up.

This is Bob, please leave a message... or call back later... or just hang up.

Hi, you have reached the RIGHT woman but at the WRONG time, leave your message after the beep.

Hi, you've reached Bob. I can't get to the phone right now so leave me your name and credit card number and I will never call you back.

Sorry I "missed" your call. Actually, when I saw your number, I "accidentally" pressed the ignore button.

Welcome to Bob's voicemail. The first rule of Bob's voicemail is you do not talk about Bob's voicemail. The second rule of Bob's voicemail is you do NOT TALK ABOUT BOB'S VOICEMAIL. Third rule, leave your name and number at the tone. Fourth, wait patiently by your phone; one of us will come to you. And the fifth and final rule of Bob's voicemail: if this is your first time at Bob's voicemail, then you have to leave a message.